Time to move forward....

I'm not sure what has happened over the last few weeks but ever since I have been home from Gettysburg PRS Field Trip 13 I realized that I need to get my life back in order.  Going on the field trip made me realize that I have a lot more confidence in myself than I even gave myself credit for.  Three years ago, I us to be a very confident person, I had just started a bright future by finishing the Resident Care aide program and found a good job working in a long term care facility.  Sadly, it was cut short because my dad passed away and I was extremely close to him.  I was very much a daddys girl always by his side doing the things we both loved.  It was the first real death that struck me so hard that I had to quit my job, because I knew at the time I was not in the right state of mind, and it wouldn't be fair to the residents to only give a small percentage of myself.  It was a tough couple years, I had a lot of anger, depression, and isolated myself from friends and family.  Three years may seem like a long time, but for me I still remember receiving the devastating news crystal clear, I don't know if it will ever fully go away.  My advice to others, tell everyone you love them, give them hugs and kisses, enjoy their company because we live in such a fragile world that we never know when our time is up.  I thought for sure I was done grieving, but today that proved me wrong.  I cried for hours this evening non stop, and told my husband the feelings that I had been having that I don't think he even expected.  I was just living in the moment, moving around every year, working endless jobs, and trying to fill the gap.  Today, I truly believe was a break through and want to make a change, need to move forward, thinking about the future.